Time, not love or money, is what makes the world go ’round. Why? It just does. At last count, I have 27 clocks, and 11 watches, and one alarm clock. I think I need the alarm clock but I’m not sure why.
Why? I’m never late, and it never wakes me up. Why do I have it, why do I set it, why am I always awake already?
Look around your house and count the clocks and watches. The TV has a clock. So does the VCR. My cell phone, too. There’s one on the microwave and one on the stove.
Add them up and I’ll bet you have a couple of dozen clocks and more than a few watches.
How many alarm clocks do you have? I have one and it goes off at the same time every day and I’m awake anyway.
I also have a clock in the bedroom that doubles as an alarm clock, though I only use it as such when I travel. I set it the night before, the alarm goes off the next day, but I’m awake already.
Should anyone ask, “Yes, I need an alarm clock.” I just don’t know why because the only thing it does is give me something to look at when I look in that direction.
Oh, one more thing. It plays a radio station when the alarm goes off in the morning. My microwave doesn’t do that. Neither do the three remote wireless phones scattered elsewhere in the house.
Each has a clock, but no alarm, and no radio.
My alarm clock is both clock and radio (and an obnoxious alarm which I used only once) alarm.
The clock part is handy, but only if I’m looking in the direction of the alarm clock, which, given the few dozen other timepieces of one size or kind or shape, is seldom.
The radio part is what gets the most attention, except that it’s tuned to a radio station I don’t want to listen to, but it’s been tuned there for about 10 years (off and one, give or take, different radio personalities), and the reception is good, so I don’t want to change it, either.
I only listen to the radio on the alarm clock for about 15 minutes each morning. US and world news, local news, weather, sports, a song. Then I get up.
If we’re anything, we’re a pitiful species.
I’ve looked at other alarm clocks, and I’ve listened to other radio stations, yet I refuse to make the change for either; probably some guilt complex that a psychiatrist would love to charge me $100 an hour to explain, but would take days of hours to figure it out first.
Something else I can’t explain is why I’m already awake whenever the alarm goes off to awaken me.