Do people bother you? Do you find youself in a situation where you'd just like to get rid of someone; make them go away? Try people repellent. It works.
OK, it doesn’t work on everyone but it does work. From what I can tell, getting rid of people is an art. Or a lack of hygiene. Perhaps a little of both.
The former is socially acceptable though left to those with the talent to dispatch others to do their bidding (or, just to be dispatched).
The latter is less socially acceptable, though highly effective. The side effects may have something to do with why it hasn’t caught on.
The News & Telegraph in the UK reports on a product that does just what we’ve wanted one to do for as long as I can remember wanting to repell people.
It’s repels people. Specifically, The Sonic Teenager Deterrent (also named, the Mosquito) only works on teenagers. It’s just a matter of time before the gadget can be fine tuned to a repel a person of your choice.
A Romulan Disrupter would do much the same, though they’re outlawed. Or, rather, will be outlawed in a few hundred years.
The Mosquito is a serious tool; a simple electronic gadget which sends out an ultra high frequency noise. Guess what? Only those 20 years old and under can hear it.
If the next version can be dialed and tuned to rid your home of pests (relatives who eat too much, friends who talk too much; you get the idea), then I’m a buyer.The sound is so distressing to teenagers that they reportedly clutch their ears in discomfort, further jamming their Apple iPod ear buds into their heads, causing even more discomfort.
Within just a moment or two the sound (soundless to those of us who are more mature, or who listened to too much rock ‘n roll in our own youth) becomes excrutiating and the teenagers leave the area.
It’s the perfect people repellent.
The News & Telegraph says the device is so successful that it has been endorsed by police and local authorities. Already teenagers hate it.
It can only be a matter of time before the gadget ends up as standard fare above every 7-11 store in the US. When crowds of unruly youth begin to congregate, talk dirty, make obscene gestures, and spill their Slurpees, on comes the Mosquito.
The sound won’t bother other 7-11 customers, but the disruptive teenagers will be repelled to another locale.
I’ve read of similar devices which repel insects, spiders, and rodents in and around a home. Teenagers are worse, hence the Mosquito represents a more viable solution.
Isn’t it just a matter of time before the device is available with a fine grain tuner which can be set to repel anyone from anywhere, regardless of age, sex, or hygiene?
Why can the device be heard by teenagers and not adults? Besides rock ‘n roll and the damage caused by iPods, cells within the inner ear die or are damaged as we age.
The ones that go first are the ones that hear the higher frequencies. At certain frequencies, adults are deaf, teenagers are not. It’s simply a matter of knowing which frequencies work on which part of the population, and blasting them with soundless sound accordingly.
If the next version can be dialed and tuned to rid your home of pests (relatives who eat too much, friends who talk too much; you get the idea), then I’m a buyer.
Iím sorry, but youíd have to fine tune that repellent to a very narrow threshold for car salesmen, or all the politicians would be repelled by the same. And then who would we have left to satirize?
Probably not technically possible to do this. Most politicians are indiscernible from car salesmen; repellent would be effective for both. However, I don’t see this as a major problem.