People Repellent. An Idea Whose Time Has Come

Not bathing for a week may do the same thing; repel people. It's the side effects that make it less than desirable.

Do people bother you? Do you find youself in a situation where you'd just like to get rid of someone; make them go away? Try people repellent. It works.

OK, it doesn’t work on everyone but it does work. From what I can tell, getting rid of people is an art. Or a lack of hygiene. Perhaps a little of both.

The former is socially acceptable though left to those with the talent to dispatch others to do their bidding (or, just to be dispatched).

The latter is less socially acceptable, though highly effective. The side effects may have something to do with why it hasn’t caught on.

The News & Telegraph in the UK reports on a product that does just what we’ve wanted one to do for as long as I can remember wanting to repell people.

It’s repels people. Specifically, The Sonic Teenager Deterrent (also named, the Mosquito) only works on teenagers. It’s just a matter of time before the gadget can be fine tuned to a repel a person of your choice.

A Romulan Disrupter would do much the same, though they’re outlawed. Or, rather, will be outlawed in a few hundred years.

The Mosquito is a serious tool; a simple electronic gadget which sends out an ultra high frequency noise. Guess what? Only those 20 years old and under can hear it.

If the next version can be dialed and tuned to rid your home of pests (relatives who eat too much, friends who talk too much; you get the idea), then I’m a buyer.The sound is so distressing to teenagers that they reportedly clutch their ears in discomfort, further jamming their Apple iPod ear buds into their heads, causing even more discomfort.

Within just a moment or two the sound (soundless to those of us who are more mature, or who listened to too much rock ‘n roll in our own youth) becomes excrutiating and the teenagers leave the area.

It’s the perfect people repellent.

The News & Telegraph says the device is so successful that it has been endorsed by police and local authorities. Already teenagers hate it.

It can only be a matter of time before the gadget ends up as standard fare above every 7-11 store in the US. When crowds of unruly youth begin to congregate, talk dirty, make obscene gestures, and spill their Slurpees, on comes the Mosquito.

The sound won’t bother other 7-11 customers, but the disruptive teenagers will be repelled to another locale.

I’ve read of similar devices which repel insects, spiders, and rodents in and around a home. Teenagers are worse, hence the Mosquito represents a more viable solution.

Isn’t it just a matter of time before the device is available with a fine grain tuner which can be set to repel anyone from anywhere, regardless of age, sex, or hygiene?

Why can the device be heard by teenagers and not adults? Besides rock ‘n roll and the damage caused by iPods, cells within the inner ear die or are damaged as we age.

The ones that go first are the ones that hear the higher frequencies. At certain frequencies, adults are deaf, teenagers are not. It’s simply a matter of knowing which frequencies work on which part of the population, and blasting them with soundless sound accordingly.

If the next version can be dialed and tuned to rid your home of pests (relatives who eat too much, friends who talk too much; you get the idea), then I’m a buyer.

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Reader comments...
dogfriend says:

Don’t some people have the repellent built in??? It seems like it to me.

If the teenagers can hear the Mosquito, then dogs are going to hear it as well. I don’t think that it is fair to subject dogs to this....I’m going to give this device a big thumbs down on that basis.


Kathy Wilhoit says:

Yeah, me, too.

I don’t mind seeing teenagers screaming and running from a 7-11 and holding their hands over their heads as the shreeking pain rips through their brains…

but, don’t hurt the neighborhood dogs. For Gawd’s sake, let’s be human about this.

grin


Tom Coppinger says:

We are sometimes plagued by teenagers pulling up outside in their cars in the wee hours, and blasting out dance music. I want to repel them all right (with extreme prejudice), but I doubt the Mosquito could be heard above their wall of noise.

Home pests (unwanted relatives and such) are much easier to deal with; good ol’ fashioned psychological warfare. Or use a pest to rid a pest; keep a pet rat (black or dirty grey preferable over white) and personally introduce him to unwanted visitors. “Don’t worry, he won’t bite.”


davida says:

that idea creeps me… very fascistic… I’m sure with just a bit of tweaking they could use it on any age group, allowing them to break up peace demonstrations, governments need to hear people, considering they don’t count the votes properly. Flame me neo cons… you aren’t real conservatives anyway… GWB sure ain’t, he’s quasi-fascist.


Vic says:

I survived 3 teenagers, and a step-son in his 20’s who’s still a teenager. I say if you can’t take the heat, stay outta da kitchen. I actually miss having all their friends over, milling about, drinking my beer, blaring heavy metal, wearing elephant jeans that tracked in mud and snow, surreptitiously piercing each other, for fashion, and trying not to scream and bleed, burning holes in my curtains and blankets with cigarettes they weren’t supposed to smoke in the house, scratching my antique furniture with studded leather bracelets, leaving green hair dye on the bathroom wall and rug, taking swigs out of my liquor bottles ‘just to try it’, up all night playing video games then sleeping through classes the next day, leaving a fork and a morsel of food in a leftovers container in the ‘fridge, flipping their shiney, slightly used red car the 2nd week they have it, with their girlfriend inside, shaving only half their head, pet-sitting someone’s ferret that eats my favorite skirt and poops on the television - who wouldn’t want the little darlings around?


Tera Patricks says:

Fine tuned, I’m sure they could get portable versions in manufacturing that would repel blondes, bosses, and car salesmen.

Since they now know what repels, how far away are we from a device that attracts? Guys would pay top dollar to attract blondes, blondes would pay top dollar to attract older rich men.

I’d stand in line to buy one. I don’t know which model, but almost any version, repel or attract, could come in handy.


dogfriend says:

Car salesmen are definately one group which have the repellent built in, at least for me they do. Maybe we should sacrifice a few thousand of them in the interest of science?


Tom Coppinger says:

I’m sorry, but you’d have to fine tune that repellent to a very narrow threshold for car salesmen, or all the politicians would be repelled by the same. And then who would we have left to satirize?

They already have a spray that men use to attract blondes. Invented back in the 70’s, called Hi-Karate. Well, okay, so it didn’t really work, but millions of us were desperate to believe!


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