Nothing improves without change. Is monogamy working? Are the economics sound? War in Chechnya has harmed everyone. Separatist rebels and the Russian army. Men. There are fewer men to go around. Is it time to look at polygamy to balance the scales?
Chechnya has been torn apart by war for more than 10 years. In the process of war, men die. That means fewer men to go around for the remaining eligible women.
Acting Prime Minister Ramzan Kadyrov (who would want the job on a permanent basis?) has proposed a simple solution: “Each man who can provide for four wives should do it.”
That’s a radical approach to take when the spoils of war have spoiled the economy and there are not enough men to go around.
To clarify, in the strict sense Kadyrov is not proposing polygamy. Simply put, polygamy is having more than one spouse; (male or female).
What he’s proposing is actually polygyny, which is having multiple wives.
Chechnya is the break away province of Russia and is mostly Islamic. Some say that polygyny is allowed under Islamic law (as it is in Saudi Arabia), but it is not allowed in Russia.
Polygyny is part economics, part tradition, part religion, and part unchecked sexual appetite. Or, so I’m told.
King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, plus wisdom, wealth, and God’s blessings.
Despite what we in the western part of the world may think, polygyny is popular in many other parts of the world. Africa. The Middle East. Asia.
OK, that’s not Peoria or Boca Raton, but we have our own issues with fidelity within the western marriage arrangement, as over half fail, and the winners and losers move on every few years in a strange game of musical chair adultery.
What about China? The government policy for decades has been one-child per family, while condoning abortions of girls. That produced a surplus of men, which means there’s more competition for good quality women.
China’s situation is the opposite of Chechnya, but you see the point. How do you repair the extremes? Or, do you just leave it alone and foster a few generations of miserable men, and miserable women, though in different countries.
Polygyny in Chechnya and polyandry in China might help the economics of relationships in both countries.
Should polygamy be give a second look in modern society?
I can’t afford the one I got, forget multiple women. Dogs are much cheaper in the long run. ; )
I can’t dictate politics (or morality), but for me- that particular, unique, unmeasurable, magical, supremely intimate and spiritual connection is best between but two people.
I admit I waited for others to comment before I dared add mine.
Tera, I applaud your candour and the scope of your thinking.
It seems to me that “stable/balanced” cultures like those of USA and Europe have built into themselves ways and means to allow for a variety of “poly” relationships. The high divorce rate in the USA seems to me to be a way of taking multiple mates albeit, one at a time. European culture “accepts” emotional/sexual relationships outside of marital bonds as normative.
Might it be a foregone conclusion that humans have the capacity to love and commit to more than one partner? it would take greater authority than me to conclude so. All I can say is that polyamorous practices seem to have a place in a variety of cultures despite being structurally different.
Economically, polygamy makes perfect sense for modern society.
There are few young couples I know today who aren’t struggling to either save up for a house down payment, or meeting an existing mortgage. In most desirable urban areas, housing costs are prohibitively high. Couples manage, but both work, and both work long hours, to the detriment of the relationship.
Children come along into a two career family, and if there isn’t a grandma or other family living around the corner—and I know many couples who don’t have family support about—then there is no option but daycare. And many studies have shown that daycare is hardly the ideal environment for children.
A live-in nanny? Only if you’re truly well off.
The pressure to be super-mom or super-dad today is relentless.
Polygamy is a solution. Two partners bring in the income; the third stays at home and looks after the children. Between the three of them, they can afford a nice home, the nicer bits, and more quality leisure time. And the children always have a genuine Mom or Dad at home to care for them.
In terms of marriage and intimacy, it could be a disaster, with the additional stress of maintaining a three-way relationship. Divorce lawyers would have a heyday. Three-way split? Yippee!
When I was young enough to keep up with multiple mates, I did not have enough money to afford even one.
Now that I am a very well paid consultant in my early 60’s I can afford many but satisfy one just once or twice a week.
Life isn’t fair. Youth is wasted on the young.
Just think what would happen if you got divorced! Half of everything split in fourths, mindboggling isn’t it?
Yawn! Been there, done that. Number 4 is snoring away as I type this. Who says it can’t be multiple husbands? What? You mean marry them all at the same time?
Now, why didn’t I think of that? That’d save a whole lot of time and expense. But then, I do enjoy those receptions.
Nowadays, “real” marriage seems to be falling out of fashion, despite society’s condemnation, and making way for people just co-habiting. There are no rules for co-habiting although if you act like a married couple you can expect to be treated like one. I expect there are a number of multiple arrangements existing quite happily and expect more as society evolves further. One day there may well be a bill before parliament for “legalising” such arrangements such as happened with homosexual couples. Once marriage ceases to be the norm then anything is open for acceptance. I think this is a good, natural thing.
Actually, King Solomon had wisdom, wealth and God’s blessing UNTIL he had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
1 Kings 11:3 “He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, a nd his wives led him astray.”
Later, I Kings 11:9 “The Lord became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the Lord.”
The Bible does not support polygamy or polygyny.